This week the UK government announced a tentative timeline to take us out of lockdown and return us back to normality, whatever that means. The fact that they think we could be mixing in nightclubs and stadiums as soon as June is both heartening and somewhat disturbing. It has frequently felt like there might be no end to COVID-19. I find the fact that we are staring at a future so unknowable overwhelming.
Yet even as I contemplate being able to see my family and friends again, I still frequently think about loss. The people who we lost and didn’t get to say goodbye to, the relationships that went on hiatus, the life experiences missed, the colleagues who found new opportunities in the space between when I last left the office and when I will eventually go back. Those won’t ever come back. By the end of this, I will likely have spent 1-2% of my life ‘locked up’, and that weighs on me. In is undeniably a comfortable form of incarceration, yet it still feels like a waste in much the same way as I have felt a stint in prison would.
In my opinion, those that have suffered the biggest loss through this are the young and the old. The elderly have been segregated from society and denied the opportunity to say goodbye. The young have had to endure COVID-19 as a larger proportion of their life than those of us who are older — my son has spent 20% of his life so far in lockdown — that feels overwhelming when you think about the perspective it creates. And it feels as though many young people have been robbed of their hope, their sense of opportunity and possibility.
Kayla Grace is a musician from Watford who left home to study music at ACM Guildford only to have the experience she signed up for entirely changed beneath her feet. On Bird In A Cage, she expresses the frustration and sense of loss that rings true for most of us, yet is harshest for those that were just stepping into adulthood. It’s a beautiful track — delicate melodies play out beneath lyrics that encapsulate how this all feels. There are little couplets here that are perfect — “I want to hold your hand, but I just hold my tongue … I want to kiss your neck, but I just kiss my teeth”. When Grace sings “My last teenage years have been stolen from me”, it really hits home.
Check out Kayla’s DIY video, and read about the feelings behind the track below:
“Bird in A cage is, to put it simply, a song about lockdown. It’s painfully relatable but feels so personal and I think it’s something I needed to get out of my system to comprehend how much life has changed for everyone since coronavirus. It’s got this kind of irony because I’m complaining about my birthday being on a Zoom call while people are literally dying, but I think it just shows the reality of the situation and how differently it's impacted everyone.
I’m in my final year of university and I’ve not really left my bedroom all year but I’m still putting this pressure on myself to be grateful that I’m even alive and healthy. I think a lot of people will resonate with the feeling of being isolated and trapped (like a bird in a cage) and all I’m hoping is that the song will help them realise they’re not truly alone. We’re all in this situation together and one day it’ll be okay again.”
